A Month Left

Finishing well.



That's what my dad told me to think about when I last spoke to him. Not just finishing life well (hopefully I have at least a little more time to get that sorted out ^_^). But finishing off each chapter of our life well.



Guess it's time to start reflecting on my two years here. That's where I left off last time I wrote a really long post I think (that was a very long last time ago =P). Unsure if I'll end up as vague as before or more specific. But hey. I'll just write =P.



First some self-reflection. Who am I - the ever-burning question asked, right =P.



I guess just about everyone in Kaleo sees me as some crazy nut =P. Energetic, loud, and nothing short of completely and utterly random. The kind of person who excels at demonstrating how the Bible ought NOT to be interpreted =P.

Maybe there's a bunch (not sure how many) who've seen the more serious side of me. Serious in the 'I'm actually going to talk about the Bible now and I'm actually going to talk about it properly' way.

And maybe there's a slightly smaller bunch who knows the struggles I went through when I first came to Singapore, leaving Perth. Who might know a little bit more about why I do what I do.

And I really wonder how many know me as a person who would rather just spend time with God and spend time with maybe just one other person. Not necessarily having any agenda or talking about anything serious or anything. Just being there. Maybe none? One? Two at tops?



A few years ago, I would never have dreamed that I would even be working with youth. A few years ago, there was NO way I would have any idea that I might be standing in front of people and actually... well... talking. What God has done with me is nothing short of absolutely amazing. Who would ever have taken a guy who failed history and minimally passed for English (I think I failed most of my orals too) to stand in front of a small group of people and talk about Biblical history? God could. He would. And He did. He called me, He led me, and He took my confessed weaknesses and showed His strength through them. Truly, His grace is amazing. Coming before His throne of grace with confidence... that's been in my mind for a while now. Utterly blows my mind.



People say our identity is found in Christ.

People say that we were created for heaven, and Christ came to return that to reality.

People say that God's strength is made perfect in our weakness.

People say that God's grace is sufficient for us.

People ask 'Who am I'? And people say 'You are God's'.



And you know what's the most amazing thing?



It's all true.





It's all true. It's amazing how often we ask the personal question - Who am I? And how often we walk away thinking that the answer is purely academic. No. God's Word is not purely academic. It is of AMAZING academic value. We can say that it's useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. We can say that it's the power of God for the salvation for all who believe. But you know what? It's living. It's active. It's sharper than a double-edged sword. And it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Of YOUR heart. Of MY heart.



And you know what?

It brings grace. It brings life.



So who knows who God is going to form me to be. Who knows what God is going to call me to next. Who knows which of my (very many) weaknesses He will take next to show His strength and grace. Because I am completely helpless by myself. I'm a sinner. I'm not and will never be good enough.



BUT. God is good. And while I can do nothing by myself, I can do everything in God. God, Your will be done.





Ok I think I went off topic =P. Next! Some thoughts of coming back to GEFC.



I know a lot of people were very suprised when my brother and I came back to GEFC. We ourselves were suprised. My parents were suprised. For me, I had two basic reasons to come back. The first was that I knew people there. The second was I just simply knew that God was calling me there.



Australia had prepared me immensly for many things. I had been learning and learning and learning - and boy had I learnt. I believe I can say fairly safely that now, I possibly know less about the Bible than I did 2 years ago, simply because I've forgotten so much of it and haven't kept in touch with a lot of the things I used to do. But as I was preparing to come back to Singapore, God kept telling me one thing. And that was I wasn't going back to Singapore to learn. I was going back to serve. I was going back, not to figure out some ministry to do. He was going to call me to do His ministry. And of course, God being God, I had no clue what He was going to throw me into =P.



So I came back to GEFC. And well... I served =P. In different ways, some ways somewhat expected (e.g. keyboarding), some ways not expected (did not expect to work with the youth. AT ALL), some ways I was kinda asking God 'Awwww why not here?' (btw, cos I miss ushering =P=P). And there were things I saw which I was amazed at - the passion in some of the youth, for example. People who would see a need to step up, and pour their time and effort into projects. People who would bring their real life issues to the small group. People who would have meetings on tuesdays/bs on thurs/lead bs on fri/another bs on sat/church on sun. And you all should probably be able to figure out who's who =P. Just a few examples.



And of course, there were things I saw which were kinda more 'ehhhh'. One example would be the ABFs, which I really well..... don't subscribe to the idea? I know it doesn't affect me as I'm a youth. But speaking as someone who, I really think, understands adults more than people my age (and possibly myself!), I really wonder if the emphasis is misplaced. I really wonder if it is useful and beneficial. Because looking at the adults, I really think that the bond of love that held them together all these years and that pulled me back to the church is starting to not be as evident. I myself know for sure that I'm not relating to the adults as much as I would like to, simply because there's no time. The schedule is too busy. Back last time, if I were asked when my parents' friends last met up for a meal, I could say 'last Sunday' and have a good chance of getting it right. Now? I wouldn't even be able to give a rough estimate.

But it really has been great to be serving in GEFC. Although not necessarily easy, it was always a joy to serve. It was also great to be part of the MDz for these couple of years. First in the Galatians study... same material, new insights. New thoughts. New areas of my life which God convicted about. And a ever increasing conviction that God's Word is living and active - not just academic, not just a study - but something that speaks to us, applying to us at just the appropriate time. I really really enjoyed the Christ-Empowered Living series by Selwyn Hewes (spelling? I could just like, turn back cos the book's on my bed, but hey =P). Simple to start off, but especially as we approached the last 3-4 weeks, it became very challenging and powerful very quickly. There were some parts of my life that I had to confront, that I had never confronted before. It really was very enriching, and I am confident that it will not just end there. So again, to Pastor Andrew and Alicia, if you ever read this, really, thanks for leading us these couple of years. I really appreciate it, and pray that you've been blessed as much as we have through these years.

Back to finishing well. Again, as I come to the close, I'm challenged by Dean's words those 2+ years back. "What then, shall I do?" It's difficult, to take what I've been doing and to hand it over to the next. It really is, because I don't know what will happen, and I tend to feel very responsible over what happens. Well, that's what happened last time anyway. So again, I need to engrave this into my head - God, You are sovereign. Everything is according to Your plan, and You WILL complete every good work that You have started. So to those in the Prayer Team - it's been a privelage to bring you through those 2 sessions, and I pray that they were helpful to you. Now I just ask for you to carry it on according to God's will, purposes and direction. What will His direction be? I don't know =). So there's one thing already you can start praying for =P.

I'm glad God brought me back here for this season. And it's going to be difficult to leave. For all those who seem so confident that I'll forget you so quickly, well I'm sorry, it's gonna take a lot more =P. I will really miss all of you people in GEFC. Each of you have been a blessing in your own way, and I pray that over these two years, God has used me to be a blessing to you.


Ok it's probably about time I stopped now. And yes, I know this is WAYYY WAYYY WAYYYYY overdue. But hey. I'm me =P. Australia or Singapore, apparently some things just don't change =P

God bless y'all!